Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
