"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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