dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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