: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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