Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
