just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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