I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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