I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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