so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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