We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
