There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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