I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
