Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
