More tranny stories later!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
