windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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