Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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