his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize