Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
