I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
