if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
