Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
