He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
