well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
