My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
now i know why i became what i already was.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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