I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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