Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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