Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
