party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
