I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
