I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
