The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
