there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
