Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
