It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
