Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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