i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
