Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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