I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
