he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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