Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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