i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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