oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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