so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
