Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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