Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My vagina is very pro this idea
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
