I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
