No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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