You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
