You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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