singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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