Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
