All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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