dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
