i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
