In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
