Ambien. No doubt about it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
