I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
