at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were trust falling into bushes
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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