You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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