omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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