hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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