It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
