you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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