So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
