my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
