you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
