I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
