Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize