if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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