Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize