I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
