this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
