Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
