we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize