um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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