i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My feet surprised me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize